A Relentless Love

I met him the first day at LCBA, my first job after graduating from Penn State.  There was something different about him but I couldn’t pinpoint it.  He was tall, blond, thin, with a pale complexion and not my type.  I was 23 at the time and ready for a change from the casual college “hooking up” scene.  Three months prior, I had asked God to give me a second chance at sexual purity.  Imagine my surprise when I met this guy who talked to me about church and told me he was saving himself for marriage!  I was intrigued!

God was at work unbeknownst to us.  Somehow, I began to pour my heart out to this young man.  He was so gentle and kind, unlike all the guys I had met in college.  I knew I wasn’t good enough for him because of my sordid past but I couldn’t get him to go away.  He told me he was not a normal guy.  That was an understatement!  No matter how much I shared with him, it didn’t scare him away or cause him to see me in a negative light.  He was able to see past my faults when I couldn’t.  For the first time in my life, I experienced unconditional love and I felt so undeserving of it. 

This guy was mature beyond his 21 years.  I expected him to run as fast as he could from me after hearing about my life but that didn’t happen.  Instead, he told me that all people have sinned against God and no sin is greater than another because God sets the standard for measuring wrongdoing.  I discovered that God is always ready to forgive as long as I acknowledge my sins and want to change.  All I had to do was accept that His son, Jesus, died for my sins and give Him control of my life to him in order to begin anew.  I wanted desperately to believe what was shared with me but it seemed too easy.  I had questions and reservations about this Jesus.  Who is He and how can he forgive a wretched sinner like me?  Through it all, the young man’s love remained relentless because it was a love from God, the Heavenly Father.  Because he loved me, I came to believe in Jesus and had the honor of becoming his wife.

For my husband, Scott

I love God passionately today because you loved me.  You displayed Jesus in your life through your gentleness and made him visible to me when I couldn’t see him clearly.  Jesus was the difference I witnessed in you.  You demonstrated his love beautifully by your words and actions.  Because you loved me, I learned that I am valued and worthy of God’s love.  Because you loved me, I was able to forget the former things, believing that God would make me new.  Your faith encouraged me to grow and your tremendous patience enabled God to heal my heart for you.  Because you loved me, I am now sharing Jesus’ story to the world!  Because you loved me, God honored your desire to be a godly father. 

For the Fatherless

I am thankful that my sons have a father who loves God and wants to be present for his boys.  Unfortunately, many of us do not have fathers in our lives.  Dad may be present physically and absent emotionally or he may not be present at all.  The absence of a father’s influence creates a deep wound that inhibits us from understanding the love of God, our heavenly father.  For many years I wrestled with this because my dad has not always been present physically or emotionally.  As I grow closer to God, I’ve come to understand that my dad has done the best job as a father based on his limited understanding of what it means to be a father.  His past, his cultural and family upbringing, and his unbelief in God affect how he fathers me and my siblings.  My dad doesn’t understand or know God, the Heavenly Father, so he can’t possibly father in the likeness of God.  Therefore, I don’t have a relationship with my dad the way God intended.  I yearn for that emotional connection and deep love from my dad but Because God loves me, I can love my dad in spite of how inadequately he loves me.     

Hope for wounded hearts

Friends, if you are reading this right now know that I’m praying for you.  Perhaps you have a close relationship with your dad or he’s in your life but the relationship is not what you’d like it to be or maybe you’ve never known your father.  My heart aches for those of you who are in a difficult place with your fathers or have no connection with them because I’ve experienced the same hurt and disappointment.  Because God loves me, I am able to forgive my dad and have allowed my Heavenly Father to fill the void in my heart with his unconditional love.  Your Heavenly Father wants to do the same for you.  Because he loves you, God wants to enrich your relationship with your earthly father and the Bible tells us that he promises to be a father to you who are fatherless.  May your heart be open to the Father’s unfailing love!