6/18/2013 5:56:02 PM
No More Perfect Moms: Learn to Love Your Real Life
Every mom should read this book!
Do you find yourself looking at other moms and wishing you could be like them? Have the things they have, children that are like theirs, or a home that you imagine is perfect? How often do you find yourself not wanting others to know about parts of your life because you are afraid you will not measure up in their eyes?
If you answered yes to any of those questions you need to read this book. Written from the heart with stories that tell of the struggle of her own with wanting to hide part of her life and the blessings of sharing the journey with others. You will find yourself laughing, crying and it might even make you angry as it seems she is living in your house. I found myself reading several sections to my wife and thought of her many other times with a smile on my face. As a pastor I see these stories told over and over again and often by women that think that no one else would understand what they are going through.
The desire to have the perfect home, perfect kids, perfect body and so many other perfections causes discontent with the real homes, kids, bodies and husbands in life. Someone once advised Jill to “never compare your insides to someone else’s outside” and I thought that was great advice. When you are competing against the actor with the mask on you will often come up short. How many women, moms in particular, are always comparing themselves to others that they see as having the perfect life? The truth is that there are no perfect moms and most moms are more normal than they can imagine.
You may find yourself wondering if she is watching your life. As you read you will find those things that you have thought that only you are experiencing are more common that you thought. Since we are called to compare ourselves to Jesus Christ and not to one another the challenge is to be humble and see ourselves as God sees us.
It is pointed out that we should embrace what is rather than what could have been. The tendency of many moms is to compare what they have to what they want their life to be like or see in their friends and neighbors and find themselves frustrated because they don’t measure up to the unrealistic expectations. Whatever you are comfortable with is right for you even when it is different from other moms.
The real challenge will be to deal with reality and that means you may need to change your expectations to meet your reality. You don’t need to have a perfect home to meet the needs of your family and enjoy life. The truth is that when we open our homes people could really care less about what it looks like.
It just seems that a mother cannot help but comparing her kids to other mother’s kids! Often we look at the children of our friends or those mothers that love to tell the story of their kids. This is an area that is not only dangerous for the mother but for the kids as well. When we set our expectation for our kids based on that outward image we see in other mom’s children we often end up exasperating our children. The key it to set realistic expectations for your kids as God created them. When you are afraid to let your children make mistakes you really need to ask what it motivating that fear.
Women tend to feel most insecure about their body image and their home image. If you are one of those ladies that feel like you never measure up because you are constantly comparing yourself to the women around you, the ones on TV or in a book, or maybe it is the woman you dreamed you would be at this point in your life, then Jill will invite you to a new world.
Since each of us is made in the image of God the opportunity is always to take the life that God has given us and be thankful for our chance to reflect God to the world. That may mean that just like Jesus disappointed others when he didn’t look or act like they wanted we have a chance to worry more about what God thinks of us than what others think. If we are going to mourn not being who we ought to be it should be because we are coming up short of the image of Jesus rather than those that spend more time putting on a mask.
Jill will help you see that you are not alone as you may feel on this journey called motherhood and invite you the freedom found in living for God rather than the praise of others.
If you struggle with your body and want to look like those on the billboards take a few minutes to watch this one minute video on what it took to look like that: